Sarah Walker

A lot went on in the BB house this episode. In their intro, BB promises the most shocking veto ceremony in history. I guess - anyway, it’s right up there. If Dan gets himself out of the second live eviction on Thursday, after ticking off every single person in the house this week, it will be a miracle.

A special feature of this week’s installment will be the Dan and Ollie diary room sessions in which each pats himself on the back for getting the better of the other in their jungle vine deal. Ollie comments that Dan has been faithfully doing his bidding thus far, and he “couldn’t be in a better position right now. I get to call all the shots, but at the same time, my hands are clean. There’s no blood on my hands.” That’s exactly what Dan said, but honestly, there’s got to be blood on somebody’s hands, right? Somehow I think they’re both going to get spattered.

Memphis interviews “Dan’s deal has put me in a bad position this week. I think Dan’s plan is crap! It’s just frustrating that he thinks it’s a good idea.” Jerry comments “I think I’m in a little trouble this week, to tell you the truth.” It would seem so, Jer, but hang in there….

Diary Room Dan says “Memphis is nominated because Ollie wants him nominated. That’s how it looks on the outside. On the inside, it’s going to hide any suspicion that Memphis and I are running the secret Renegade (gag) Alliance. Like anything in this game it’s a risk, but any risk I take in life is very calculated.” Seems like anything Dan does in life is very calculated.

Dan and Memphis are in the HOH room, and evidently the timing is shortly after nominations. Dan asks “Is that an act (Memphis refusing to shake Dan’s hand) or are you pissed?” “I’m a little pissed! You know, you’re taking a huge risk - huge. You’re the only person I’m in an alliance with.” Dan asks him to “keep playing that up in public.” Not a problem! Memphis replies “Oh, I will. I’m pissed!” Just to insure that the feeling won’t wear off any time soon, Dan chooses this moment to let Memphis in on the rest of the deal he made with Ollie - that Ollie chooses the replacement nominee if one becomes necessary. Memphis asks “What the hell were you smoking when you were up there?!” Dan replies “It ain’t happening.” Memphis: “What if Ollie wins POV and takes Jerry off?” Dan: “Then Michelle’s going home.”

Dan interviews “I made a deal with Ollie that’s too good to be true, and he thinks he’s going to be able to pick the replacement nominee. In no way, Ollie, am I going to send home someone from my own alliance to appease you. That’s just not gonna work and you’re dumb for believing it.” Back in HOH, Dan tells Memphis “If we get through this week, dude, we have a golden path for us.” Memphis pessimistically replies “Let me tell ya, it ain’t gonna happen.” He interviews “I got Dan telling me I’m safe, I’m safe, I’m safe. Well, guess what, Dan? You don’t have a vote, buddy, so you telling me it’s all cool - it’s not.”

Dan joins Keesha in the skank room and asks “Did I make a mistake?” She says “I don’t know, I’m not in your position.” When Dan admits he is nervous, Keesha tells him he should be. Dan asks “Why?” “It just never works out like it’s supposed to.” Renny comes bounding in. Dan asks “So what do you think, Renny? Did I do the right thing?” She asks “Was that his (Ollie’s) wishes? To put up the Colonel? Or Memphis?” Dan asks “What do you think?” Renny replies “I think he wanted Memphis.” Keesha sneers “Well, that’s obvious.” Renny ignores her and continues “So he wanted Michelle protected?” Dan replies “I’m not going to say anything, but you’re a very smart woman.” Smart enough to have Dan’s number, for sure.

Speaking of smart women, Keesha pipes up “Well, we know Ollie and Michelle are in an alliance. Just figured that one out.” Dan reiterates his question to Renny: “Do you think I made the right decision?” Renny replies “Well, if that’s the deal you made with him.” Keesha asks “Dan, what if Memphis wins POV and takes himself off the block? Who would you put up?” Dan promises not to put either of them up if the veto is used. Renny says “You’d have to put her up (Michelle).” Dan smirks and says “Oops.” Renny continues “Unless you put me up, and honey I will come at you - LONG bleep - your ass.” I couldn’t begin to make out what she said. Must be some kind of indigenous bayou threat. Dan remarks that he “needs to be able to count on” Renny and Keesha. Renny retorts “You need to be able to count on us, because that - (unintelligible bayou epithet that translates: Memphis) - don’t win HOH’s.” Dan answers “Without a doubt. Are you kidding me? I’m doing this because I think it’s best for us. You gotta trust me….” Renny jumps in “If you don’t quit saying that!” Dan, attempting humor, rejoins “I’ll stop being honest then.” Renny replies “Actions speak louder than words.”

Michelle, Jerry and Ollie have a private talk. Ollie tells Jerry that there is part of the deal that is still secret, and Jerry must not repeat it. Ollie informs Jerry about the third part of the deal, saying “I’d be dumb not to take it.” Jerry, not having lived 75 years for nothing, observes “If it’s not that way, we’re screwed.” Ollie replies “I gotta trust him. So if one of us three wins….” Michelle interrupts, asking if Ollie is sure that Dan won’t back door either of the two of them. Ollie assures her that Dan won’t do that. His logic is “He already screwed the house once.” I guess there’s a new BB rule limiting the amount of times a player can screw the house. I didn’t know. Jerry interviews “I think that’s a terrible deal Ollie made with Dan. I don’t trust anybody in this house to live up to their end of the bargain, including Dan, ’cause he’s done it before.” Guess Jerry didn’t get the memo on the new rule, either.

Ollie continues “I think the best case scenario is if you (Jerry) win it and save yourself. Jerry counters “If it’s a tie vote he has us by the balls.” Ollie, who has gotten into some bad Kool-Aid or something, retorts “No he doesn’t! If he wasn’t going to do it he wouldn’t have put Memphis up. He wouldn’t have took the risk.” Jerry merely says “We’ll see what happens.” Ollie enthuses “We’ve got the game in our hands right now.” Then the light comes on, or the Kool-Aid wears off, because Ollie suddenly comes out with “If he screws me, I promise you, hell will be unleashed no him.” Well sure, Ollie, if you have any hell on hand to unleash. But if it’s already gone, say, out the back door….then what?

The truth is, both Ollie and Dan made a really dumb ass deal, but one of them will come out of it looking smart and the other will come out of it looking stupid. It all comes down to luck and the POV.

Dan calls the HGs to the living room; it’s time to reveal America’s vote: “Which HG would you like to see get a phone call from home?” They will find out the next day. Keesha and Michelle are both reduced to tears by the announcement, each girl wanting a chance to talk to Mom. Jerry, all choked up, interviews that the announcement made him worry about his wife, who has Parkinson’s. In 54 years he has never been away from her for this long.

A phone rings in the living room. Michelle calls everyone in and then answers. Jerry’s daughter asks to speak to him, then puts his great-grandson on the line. Jerry, crying now, talks to him and then to his wife. She tells him she watches all the shows. He asks “Do you think we’re all behaved in here?” I cannot even believe he asked that. Kindly, she merely replies “Well…..” After the call, Jerry sincerely wishes aloud that all his housemates could have a call. He yells “Thank you, America!” (Jerry, we can hear you. You’re miked 24/7) and then gives each person a hug.

Back in the game, Dan, Memphis and Keesha have a convo in the HOH room. Keesha asks Memphis “Do you think Michelle would vote you out?” Memphis has “no f’in clue.” Keesha wonders aloud who Michelle would put up if she were HOH, to which Dan replies “Not Ollie. That leaves four people, us three and Renny.” Memphis observes “That means two of us will go up.” Keesha adds “And if one of us gets the POV another of us will go up.” Can’t get anything by these people. Dan asks “So what’s the best case scenario for this week?” Memphis: “Michelle goes home.” Dan interviews “It was my goal this week to get out of HOH with no blood on my hands. But Michelle is a tough competitor. Why would I keep someone like Michelle in the house when I know she can win this whole thing?” Uh, because you swore on everything of value in your life? Again I ask, does confession cover this, too?

Diary Room Dan continues “If someone wins the veto, this is too great of an opportunity to pass up, and I’m going to have to break the deal with Ollie.” Back in the HOH room, Keesha offers another astute observation: “It’s us and them; it’s so apparent now!” Dan says “Let’s say we get a little lucky and someone comes off and Michelle goes up.” Keesha remarks “If we do put Michelle up, we have to make sure that the votes are there.” Dan: “Well, we’d only need two - you and Renny.” Memphis says “She’d FLIP!!” Dan observes “There’s a lot riding on this for everyone.” Keesha: “It’s a very important POV.” As well as the most shocking in BB history; or so we’ve been told.

Time to pick players for the veto competition. Dan interviews that he doesn’t want to see Michelle’s name come out of the bag, “because if she wins it I cannot back door her.” Every single week, BB features Diary Room Dan and his “The one name I don’t want to see….” comment. And every single week, that name is pulled. Like magic. Dan pulls Renny; Memphis pulls Keesha; and Jerry pulls….”Choice!” And - you guessed it - his choice is Michelle. Like magic. Jerry, who has gotten into Ollie’s Kool-Aid, interviews “I chose Michelle because if she gets the POV she would use it to remove me from the block, and Ollie has a deal with Dan to pick the replacement, and it forces Dan to put up another of his alliance.”

After the drawing, Ollie tells us he was “bummed” not to be in control of his own fate and have to trust in Dan. He says he appreciates that Dan has come through on two thirds of the deal, and expects him to honor the rest. Dan interviews “To sacrifice basically all of the power of HOH this week to Ollie, he’s got to be crazy to think that I worked pretty hard for that HOH and for me to do that would be one of the dumbest moves in BB history.” Face to face, Ollie tells Dan “If anything were to blow up we’ve definitely got your back. We definitely need you on our side. If things were to get nasty, we’ve got your back, and you ain’t going nowhere.” Oh, things are going to get nasty, alright.

Time for the POV competition. The HGs file into the back yard dressed in silver space suits, accompanied by “2010: A Space Odyssey” theme-like music. Not the real thing, of course; BB would never spring for the royalties. The yard is decked out like a Martian landscape, with two large platforms on either side joined by ziplines spanning a rock strewn ‘gorge.’ Ollie outlines the mission: “Ask not what the veto can do for you; ask what you can do for the veto. Your mission on planet Veto is to complete the flag puzzle. The flag puzzle is made up of 12 pieces. On go, you will take a giant leap off the platform and float through space. Once on the other side, grab a puzzle piece and fly back to the flag. You must fly your puzzle pieces one at a time. This is a rectangular shaped puzzle. As long as the image is complete, it will be correct. The first player that completes their puzzle and lands safely wins the race. But beware - there are more pieces than you need to complete this mission. This competition will be played in two heats. The winner of the first two races will face off against each other in the final showdown to decide which BB astronaut wins the veto. We will now have a random drawing to see who plays in race one and who plays in race two.”

Michelle, Dan and Keesha are in the first heat. Dan interviews that he doesn’t want to win the POV because the plan is to back door Michelle. Dan, if you won you could back door Michelle, no problem. You don’t want to win because you don’t want to take responsibility. Again. Michelle, who has not touched a drop of Kool-Aid all week, tells us she realizes she is in danger and needs to win this POV. Dan smugly comments that he is “confident that Michelle will have a difficult time with the puzzle. What Michelle has in strength she lacks in brain power.” Mean people suck. Michelle interviews that she’s really good at puzzles, she does them at home all the time, but she had trouble moving the pieces around on the magnetic board. Keesha wins the first heat easily.

Next, Memphis, Renny and Jerry face off. Memphis interviews that he has to win; if Jerry wins he might as well pack his bags. Jerry comments that winning the veto is the only thing that will save him right now. Renny, delightfully off-topic as usual, tells us “I so loved being in the astronaut suit. Any kind of costume reminds me of Mardi Gras. I knew what I had to do, but I was enjoying it at the same time; and wondering what I looked like, actually.” And here’s footage of space-suit Renny flapping her arms to propel herself down her zipline. Even more bizarre, however, is Jerry’s strategy of fetching pieces and stockpiling them on the other side. He must not have caught the part about not all the pieces being necessary. Memphis wins this one without a real challenge from either Renny or Jerry.

There is a new puzzle for the final heat between Keesha and Memphis. Both Ollie and Dan are thrilled with the results of the heats. Ollie interviews that he was “a little giddy during the final heat,” because it means will get to choose a replacement nominee. Dan comments that he “couldn’t have orchestrated this thing any better with Keesha and Memphis in the final.” Memphis wins easily; everyone looks pleased except Michelle and Jerry. Ollie, still under the influence, interviews “Dan is going to have to replace Memphis with Renny or Keesha, and these are the people that he is aligned with. So they aren’t going to like him too well after this week.” Ollie laughs. Smugly. Cluelessly.

In the HOH room, Dan jumps on Memphis and then jumps up and down on his bed with glee. Memphis chooses to let this behavior pass without comment. He asks if Dan is going to get rid of Michelle. Dan asks if Memphis has any other thoughts; then offers “We could beat Ollie.” Memphis agrees, adding that Michelle is a “loose cannon” and he doesn’t want that kind of “hostility” in the house. “And she’s even like a friend - and she’s still a bitch!” Dan remarks “Ollie’s going to be pissed.” Memphis replies “He’s got to understand. We’re running out of people.” Yes, surely he’ll understand.

Memphis continues “We just have to win HOH next week.” Dan tells Memphis he plans to tell Ollie that he is trying to talk Memphis out of using the POV. Keesha comes in and Dan tells her the rest of the jungle vine deal, about Ollie choosing the replacement nominee. Renny shows up and Dan tells her there was a third part to the deal. Renny - immediately on guard - demands “Three parts?” Memphis remarks “Dan’s not a very good negotiator.” Renny: “What the crap does that mean?!” Keesha explains “That means either you or I was supposed to go up.” Dan quickly adds “But obviously that’s not going to go through.” Dan warns them that until the veto meeting, he is going to let Ollie believe that he is keeping the deal. “I know you guys weren’t thrilled with me on the nominations, but it was important to do the first two so he thinks I’m going to do the third.” Keesha says “Dude, Michelle goes up he’s going to flip his lid.” Dan replies “If some stuff goes down, you guys better have my back.” Renny remarks “No wonder you want to be protected - you’re gonna need some protection!’

Ollie, finally seeing the light, nervously interviews that Dan could break his word and put either Michelle or himself up. He asks Dan to talk upstairs. “What’s going through you’re head, man.” Dan replies that he is trying to talk Memphis out of using the POV. Ollie brushes this off - “He’s going to use it.” He tells Dan he wants Keesha to go up. Dan unenthusiastically says “Alright.” Ollie asks “Is that a problem, man? Are you wavering about following through?” Dan says “My hands are tied.” Ollie admits that he is worried about Dan reneging. Dan says he won’t, and asks for Ollie’s assurance that he is not coming after him next week. Ollie agrees that if everything goes as planned, Dan has the word of not only himself, but also Jerry and Michelle that they will not come after him. Dan interviews that Ollie is “kidding himself if he thinks I will put Keesha on the block.”

Hold onto your seats! Time for the “Most Shocking POV Meeting In Big Brother History! Dan needlessly informs us “Whatever happens at the veto ceremony, someone is going to be mad at me.” Okay, a given. But then…. “So in order to get the attention off of me, I have to cause drama and fights between everyone in the house. And then it hit me like a Mack truck! Why not play a game at the veto ceremony? At the veto meeting, I’m going to ask each individual who they think should be the replacement nominee. Now, I want each houseguest’s name to be brought up in some way that’s going to make an enemy out of someone.” Dan immediately puts his brilliant plan into action, asking Michelle to come up and “feed the fish” in the HOH room. Dan asks Michelle “If you were to pick a replacement nominee, who would go up?” Michelle eventually answers “Keesha.” Dan interviews that he can count on Michelle to name Keesha; now he needs an Ollie, a Renny and a Michelle.

Ollie is next in the hotbox. Dan talks him into saying Renny’s name, assuring him that Keesha will go up per Ollie’s wishes. Dan then brings Keesha and Renny in on his bizarre plan. Keesha agrees immediately to name Michelle. Renny, not so much. “Why do you want to do this?” Dan tells her she will understand when she sees him in action at the POV meeting. Renny calls Dan out: “It’s a cop out! You don’t want to make the decision, you want to make it look like Keesha and I are doing it!” Dan tells her that Ollie is planning to say her name: “When you hear your name come out of Ollie’s mouth, will you feel better saying Ollie?” Here it looks like some weird BB editing. Renny says “Ollie’s going to say my name?” and then uncharacteristically suddenly agrees to cooperate. Dan assures Keesha and Renny that they have nothing to worry about. Michelle is going up and leaving. “I just need the fireworks. That’s all I’m asking for.”

Memphis interviews that he is going to use the POV on himself. “Dan’s going to put up Michelle, and it’s going to get crazy in here.” He hopes he can sit back, watch and relax. Ollie, back on the sweet stuff, interviews that he is “in the driver’s seat.” Dan tells us that he is planning to create havoc with his veto speech. At the meeting, Memphis gives Jerry his plea opportunity: Congrats, don’t expect ya to use it on me. Done. Dan begins his dog and pony show saying “As HOH, this is the worst case scenario. I’ve made two people angry at me, and now I have to make a third. However, in this house, everyone in here knows I like to have some fun. And I have fun by playing games.” Here’s where the OMG expressions begin to appear. Dan continues “We’re going to play a very high stakes game I like to call Replacement Nominee Roulette.” Renny rolls her eyes. “Number one, you will be asked who you wish to have as a replacement nominee. Only four people are participating.” Ollie is at this point staring daggers at Dan. “The second rule is you must be truthful. The third rule: If you choose not to participate, and say ‘I don’t think this is fair, I don’t want to put someone up’ - you’re going up.”

“So here’s how it works: you say a person’s name. If you say anything but a person’s name, you’re going on the block. First person that’ll play is Michelle.” She names Keesha. Ollie names Renny per Dan’s instructions. Keesha answers “Since my name was thrown out there - Michelle.” Renny says “Since Ollie said my name, I’ll say Ollie’s.” Apropos of nothing he has said up to this point, Dan says “Now the thing about any time we gamble, you’re taking a risk. And in this house, someone gambled with someone else’s safety, and unfortunately you better know who’s making a bet for you, and in this case Ollie - you lost the bet. Michelle, go on the block.” Michelle complies without a word; Ollie throws his head back and rolls his eyes to heaven. Memphis quietly adjourns the meeting.

And you thought the string of obscenities Michelle unleashed in the diary room after being forced to trade her Hawaiian Holiday for a used red unitard was the best she could deliver! Absolutely livid, she asks “How the *&^%$#@! did I get back doored for someone else’s veto?” There’s more, but you get the idea. Dan smugly comments “I surprised myself with this one!” He saw “an opportunity to take a big shot in this game” and took it. “I lit the fuse to the dynamite, and I’m walking away.” We’ll see how far you get, Dan. Ollie, also furious but not in the same universe as Michelle, interviews “If Dan wanted a circus, he got a circus. He’s done nothing in this game but piss people off. For him to disrespect me in the way he did, I guarantee that will be rectified before I leave here.” We’re left with scenes of Ollie randomly destroying BB property both inside and outside the house.

Well that was certainly entertaining. It seems like Dan has thrown away this whole thing, but you never know. It will be interesting to see how far he gets after these antics, especially with a double eviction coming up. It will also be interesting to see if he ever takes off his TAKEN shirt. So don’t miss Thursday’s live double eviction, and get your between BB fix at Media Fiends: MediaFiends.com - Fireworks Cancelled Due to Lack of Interest.