Sarah Walker

After last week’s downer of an episode on the hometown dates, let’s hope the reality TV gods have something in store tonight that won’t send us running for the happy pills.  Alas, we have to suffer yet again through DeAnna’s heart rending dismissal of Graham, followed by her confession that she is afraid she may not fall in love with any of the remaining three guys.  But here’s some footage of Grand Bahama, where the sunshine lifts some of the gloom …. and immediate buzz kill as DeAnna camera comments that it was “the right decision to let Graham go, but it was also very hard because I was falling in love with Graham….  Graham was the one I thought would be the final one standing in the end, but Graham was a Brad” - or did she say brat?  Either way, things are beginning to look up.  

Climbing into the limo on the way to Grand Bahama, DeAnna continues that she is confused and does not know how things are going to end. ” Everything is up in the air now, because of Graham.”  Hey, I have an idea to make this more fun - let’s do a shot every time DeAnna says the name Graham!  We’re up to five.  Oh yes, much better.  

Back to business and the first overnight date is with Jeremy.  DeAnna camera comments that she is going to “do my best to put Graham (six) behind me.”  She continues “Jeremy and I know each other pretty well, but the last few times we’ve been together it’s been really serious.”  That’s putting a light spin on it.  DeAnna admits that part of their bond is that they have both lost parents.  Today she wants to see Jeremy let loose and have fun.  DeAnna comments that Jeremy “does seem to be pretty perfect.”  There’s that word again, just like last week, and it’s picking up that “kiss of death” connotation.  DeAnna says in an emotionless sort of voice that she can see herself marrying Jeremy.  “And it doesn’t hurt that he’s beautiful.”  No, it never does.

Jeremy and DeAnna jet out to a little island on one of those cool CSI Miami boats with the big fan on the back.  You can’t see who’s driving - maybe it’s Horatio!   Horatio and Jeremy would actually have a lot to talk about.  Jeremy remarks that this is the most romantic place he has ever been.  He and DeAnna frolic on jet skis.  He camera comments that he is “starting to not be able to imagine his life without DeAnna.”  When they return to the beach the atmosphere becomes awkward, with Jeremy not having much to say.  DeAnna is concerned that Jeremy is holding back.  “Now that Graham’s (seven) gone, it’s like Jeremy’s pulling back.  Which is weird.  The whole reason I got rid of Graham (eight) is that he wouldn’t open up to me.”  Jeremy comments that the “heartfelt talk needs to happen.  Soon.”

DeAnna is dressed in a Santa’s little helper outfit of red shirt, white pants and a green jacket as Jeremy arrives for dinner.  The two are again very awkward, with uncomfortable, mirthless laughs, and Jeremy pulling out the “so, how are you?” which causes an increasingly exasperated DeAnna to ask him if he is nervous.  No, he lies.  She then asks him to be himself; more comfortable.  Jeremy tells her that today he was the most nervous (see?) since he met her.  “Feelings are all different now; I have someone I’m so afraid to lose….I would tell  you that I’m falling in love with you, but that’s already happened.”  At this point Jeremy is sweating like a boxer after round five.  DeAnna pulls out the Fantasy Suite card.  Jeremy reads it without even pretending he didn’t already know what it was, and asks “Shall we go now?” He tells us on camera that DeAnna is the first woman to make him feel like this, and his dream is that he will be “down on one knee proposing.”  Romance in the fantasy suite ensues.  DeAnna again comments that Jeremy is “perfect” (ouch), but adds that she is “on cloud nine.”

It’s time for Jason’s overnight date.  In what season did they stop calling this round of dates “exotics?”  Did that sound too kinky or something?  Anyway, as Jason runs up to DeAnna much as his three year old son would approach, say, a pony, DeAnna voices over “I’m making today all about Jason.  Jason is caring, sweet and has a great outlook on life.  He’s so cute and is always so excited to see me.”  Jason informs DeAnna that he told Ty that he left him yet again to “try to get another flower from DeAnna.”  Ty responded that he wants a flower, too.  Ty is quickly forgotten, however - we’re going off-roading.  Jason comments that DeAnna has not seen the “fun and exciting side of me.”  They hop in a red Jeep that thankfully has double roll bars, because Jason’s “fun and exciting side” is driving like a bat out of hell down a deeply rutted sandy road.  

DeAnna is “glad to see that Jason did not play it safe in the Jeep.”  The two arrive at a secluded spot where a picnic basket awaits.  Jason camera comments that “today we both really feel like a couple.”  DeAnna comments that “Jason really let loose today.”  They then climb into a waiting double kayak; neither of them has ever before tried the sport.  They are hopeless at it but are having fun together, although DeAnna seems like a bit of a backseat kayaker.  Jason doesn’t seem to notice.  He says that this day has helped him to “fall more in love” with DeAnna.

DeAnna greets Jason for dinner wearing a pretty green dress; no candy cane colors tonight.  She camera comments that she was glad that the date with Jason went so well and that the conversation flowed.  Her feelings for him are growing more intense.  She tells him that she likes the side of him she saw today.  Jason replies that she has seen his “conservative side with Ty, but that’s only a small part of me.”  DeAnna asks if Ty likes the beach.  Jason responds “If you want to talk about Ty we can, but I want to talk about us.”  Jason then thrills DeAnna by remarking that she and Ty are the two most important subjects in his life.  DeAnna voice overs that she doesn’t want the night to end and whips out the Fantasy Suite card.  Jason acts like he has no clue what it is, yet tosses it aside half way through reading it saying “Yeah!”  

Jason confesses to us that he wants to spend the rest of his life with DeAnna and is ready to risk whatever it takes to make that happen.  He then presents DeAnna with a little sand dollar he bought her to remember their time together, and also to “thank you for something that hasn’t happened to me in a long time.  Thank you for teaching me that I can fall in love again, because I am falling in love.”  DeAnna camera comments “I am falling for Jason. I can see spending my life with Jason; everything fell into place.  The decision at the rose ceremony is going to be hard.”  DeAnna must really be into Jason, because she didn’t mention Graham one time on this whole date.  Not one time.  Great for her, bad for me and anyone who’s drinking along.

Jesse shows up on the beach for his date and tells DeAnna “you always look so hot.”  Jesse camera comments “I’m falling for DeAnna so hard, and it’s scary ’cause she could send me home…. I want to take her home with me; I don’t want those two other knuckleheads getting a shot at that.”  Jesse really does grow on you; he’s like totally awesome.  Two horses are waiting on the sand and Jesse returns with “Whoa, we’re going horseback riding on the beach, like, how rad is that?!  Super romantic!  She never ceases to amaze me!”  And it never ceases to amaze me that Jesse invariably thinks that DeAnna sets up every one of these dates, no matter how elaborate.  The horseback riding looks fun; Jesse and DeAnna try repeatedly to kiss while atop their steeds and finally the horses cooperate.  They arrive at a nice spot where a picnic set up awaits.  Jesse exclaims “You are ridiculous - thank you so much.”  The illusion continues.

Jesse makes the comment that he perhaps kisses her too much, to which DeAnna replies “probably because you waited so long for it.”  Jesse responds “I wanted you to meet my family…. you’re the girl who I’ll potentially put a big rock on your finger.”  DeAnna remembers that Jesse said from day one that he wanted them to be friends first.  Jesse asks DeAnna “You’re about to be married soon, are you nervous?”  “No, it’s what I’ve been wanting” she coos.  Jesse replies that he himself is “pretty stinkin’ nervous….’cause every time there’s one less rose on that plate.”  DeAnna camera comments “Jesse has been that guy that from day one it’s been a stepping stone with him.  Every time I’m with him I want to be around him more and more; I never would have expected to like him so much and to want to spend so much time with him.  He makes me laugh which is one of the most important qualities I look for.”  She goes on to say that she was “giddy about Jesse today.”  

 Jesse tells us that he plans to ask DeAnna some serious questions over dinner, which might prove a little difficult as she is dressed like a zebra this evening.  “Do you want to have kids, like, right away, or when you’re like 30.”  DeAnna replies that she would like to have kids before she is thirty in order to be a young mother.  Jesse would like to be a young dad so he “can play catch.”  DeAnna camera comments that it was nice to see Jesse be romantic today and have a serious side.”  Jesse next brings up their potential living situation, asking DeAnna if she could live in “Breck” for at least three months a year.  He quickly adds that “It doesn’t have to be Breck, just somewhere snowy where I can wean myself from my lovely sport of snowboarding.  I can’t go cold turkey - no shredding ever!”  DeAnna admits that it “scares” her “to not be living in one place.”  She knows that snowboarding is Jesse’s life, and hopes she fits in there somewhere.  He assures her “You definitely do.  I definitely don’t put on the boots and shred every day.  I used to do that but I’m not 15 anymore.”  DeAnna then asks Jesse, “What are you going to do when there’s no more snowboarding?” to which he replies that he would like to be a sports agent or manager.  “I just need to find the girl of my dreams and just be happy, and do the things that make me happy; then it won’t matter how much money I have or the car that I drive, or what I do for work - I’ll just be happy.”

Jesse continues to pour his heart out to DeAnna.  “I’m blown away because I never thought I’d find someone like you.  I’m falling for you so hard, which is hard for me to say, but I am.  It feels so good but it scares the crap out of me.”  A smiling DeAnna camera comments “when Jesse said he was falling in love with me, I just wanted to hurry up and go to the Fantasy Suite.”  She whips out the card and Jesse reads it aloud.  He then exhales heavily, and with a perfect poker face tells DeAnna “I don’t know if I can until I meet your dad.”  Astonished, she asks “are you for real?!”  JK!  LOL!  Off they go to a romantic, candle-filled room.  DeAnna confesses to us that she “thought Jesse didn’t have a romantic side to him, but he’s been very romantic on this date.”  Jesse tells us that he is falling in love with DeAnna very quickly.  He tells her “You talk about the guy that you choose is the guy you’re going to marry; well, if you choose me I hope you’re ready to marry me because that’s where I’m at.”  This is a huge leap from the guy who, back in ‘Breck,’ told his dad that he was ready for a serious relationship, but “not ready to get married in two weeks.”

By the way, I’m getting pretty thirsty here.  If our little drinking game is any indication, it’s not looking good for Jeremy.  

 Okay, time to whack someone.  DeAnna voices over “At the last rose ceremony, I let Graham (nine - thank you!) go.  I didn’t think I could have the same feelings for the other three guys.  But I was wrong.  I’m falling in love with all three of these guys.  Jeremy is perfect (it’s looking worse); he has everything that any girl could possibly want.  Jason is one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met.  Jesse has started out as a friend and has continually grown on me since.  I can only do what my heart tells me and go with what I feel.  Who I feel the strongest for.  I feel sick that I’m going to break someone’s heart.”  She tells the trio that she had a great week with all of them, cares about all of them and wants them to know it’s not easy and that her heart is breaking right now.  Here we go: “Jesse.”  Jeremy looks shocked.  “Jason.”  Now Jeremy looks both shocked and devastated, trying very hard not to tear up.

DeAnna gently walks Jeremy out to the Bench of Sorrows.  She sits down and rubs his hand.  Jeremy says “I, um, I was all about you from the beginning, from the first second I saw you.”  DeAnna responds “Jeremy, you are perfect, you are perfect.”  Way to rub it in!  She continues, “I would have been the luckiest human in the world (and the most depressed) and I’m stupid for sending you home.”  She talks about their bond of grief and how they relate on that level.  But she “didn’t want to confuse that bond with being in love.  I meant everything I said to you.”  Jeremy replies “I know you did, but I’m hurt.  I don’t think I’ve every had my heart broken like this.  I’m in love with you, there’s no doubt about that.  Today could potentially be one of the worst days I’ve ever had.”  That’s saying a lot.  DeAnna tells him she is “so sorry” and begins to cry.  Jeremy adds “It just sucks to think this is the last time I’ll hold your hand.”  DeAnna walks him the rest of the way to the car and again apologizes.  They cry and say they will miss each other.

In the limo, Jeremy confesses “I didn’t see that coming.  I knew what I was looking for, it’s a feeling, a look you get from someone, it’s the look you want to give.  It’s the feeling you get when you hold their hand, it’s a million different things and she had it all.  The cold hearted producers cut back and forth from Jeremy’s heart breaking limo comments to the scene of the happy threesome toasting each other back on the terrace.  Jeremy asks the driver to stop the car for a minute; he gets out and walks around, clearly in agony.  “I just don’t want to lose another person that I love.  I don’t know what I do from here.”  First, you move far, far away from your excruciatingly oppressive family and you learn to lighten up.  Perhaps with a fun little drinking game, maybe with, I dunno - Graham (ten!).