Sarah Walker

Tonight’s episode opens with DeAnna packing for the hometown dates, which she feels will be both serious and scary. Yes, they will, because the comic relief walked out the door roseless last week. I deeply mourn the loss of Sean and the chance to see more of his life after the wonderful taste we got in the DeAnna Tells All segment last week. Now we will never get to meet Momma or find out just how many hair and facial products Sean employs each day. Can you be a metrosexual if you live in small town Kentucky? Maybe the proper term is ruralsexual. Alas, we’ll never know.

Next we get a little insight into what DeAnna is feeling for each of the final four guys at this point, as she voices over previously shown footage. Jeremy received DeAnna’s very first rose. He shared a lot of his life with her on the Dodger’s date. I find it very concerning how much of their relationship hinges on the untimely deaths of their parents. DeAnna feels that Jeremy is “gorgeous, sensitive to my feelings, always puts me first.” She knows that her life would always be “set” with Jeremy. “It would be perfect.” There is absolutely no dreaminess in her voice as she utters “perfect.”

And then there’s Jesse, “the kid I never would have pictured myself with.” DeAnna says she wasn’t sure what to think when Jesse stepped out of the limo in his fly embroidered velvet jacket, but his heart and personality got to her. “Jesse has been that guy that has just changed my mind. The more time I spend with Jesse the more I can see us having fun and still being serious. I’m a little concerned that Jesse may not be ready for what I’m ready for, which is marriage and forever.”

DeAnna feels that Jason is “genuine and sincere. Just a wonderful guy. I know that he is here for the right reasons.” She is perfectly fine with Jason having a son and loves the fact that Jason can love someone so much. However, she knows that Jason is looking for someone who will be a strong presence in his son’s life, and that’s a lot of pressure.

Graham is “unbelievably smokin’ hot. He’s my type 100%.” He makes her feel (and act, we may add) like a giddy school girl. DeAnna notes that Graham got the first kiss, but they have had a rocky relationship. “I keep Graham around because there is an undeniable connection between the two of us. It’s something I do not have with any of the other guys.” This is hard for DeAnna to understand and explain, but she feels something in her gut that says Graham is supposed to be here.

In sum, DeAnna notes that “Once you meet someone’s family, there’s no turning back. I do believe I will see a different side of these guys, good or bad.”

Here we are in Jesse’s hometown of Breckenridge, Colorado at Arapahoe Basin and it is a beautiful place. Interestingly, Breckenridge is only about 35 miles east of Vail, where Trista and Ryan are living out their happily ever after. We see footage of Jesse snowboarding. He tells us “I’ve been teaching snowboarding for a lot of years. A lot of your students get a little crush on you from you teaching them how to snowboard, and I’m not saying that’s going to happen today but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.” We love Jesse for always keeping things upbeat and for his relentless humility. DeAnna camera comments that “My relationship with Jesse has progressed naturally. The more I am around Jesse the more I want to be around Jesse. Jesse is the only guy who didn’t jump at the first chance to kiss me. I hope it’s coming soon.” DeAnna tries her hand at snowboarding, doing pretty well holding Jesse’s hands and then totally wiping out as he lets go. They fall on the snow laughing. Jesse camera comments that he thinks DeAnna did “really well, she’s a natural athlete.” He thinks it is really cool that she is having fun doing what he does every day. DeAnna tells Jesse he is a good teacher and that she would like to do some more snowboarding. Perhaps this is the beginning of the hoped-for crush. Jesse notes that DeAnna will “need more than my boyish grin to impress her.” He hopes that “we can keep on snowboarding and ride a chairlift into the sunset.” We see footage of Jesse snowboarding with a screeching DeAnna on his back.

Demonstrating his utter lack of understanding of both the timeline and the concept of the show, Jesse camera comments that he wants to build a strong relationship with DeAnna before he kisses her. “Basically, I want to feel like she’s my girl.” Now it’s time to go to Jesse’s house. DeAnna first takes note of a large JSAK poster on the wall and asks Jesse about the significance. He tells her for the first time about his charitable organization which over the past seven years has funded snowboarding experiences for poor children. There really is more to Jesse than meets the eye. He says he is nervous to show DeAnna his home, and it’s time for the tour. Jesse has labels on everything. As in plates in the cupboards. We get why he was nervous. He does have an attractive collection of snowboards adorning the wall of the staircase. DeAnna makes some positive comments, causing Jesse to camera comment that he is “really pumped she likes my home.” He hopes that he can share it with her in the future.

Knock, knock. It’s Mom and dad! Dad is wearing a baseball hat with fake hair hanging off the back which makes him look quite the hippie. What’s really funny about it is that it doesn’t look the least bit funny on him. DeAnna likes the joke as it broke the ice. At dinner, Mom asks DeAnna what she thinks of Jesse’s hair and we can tell DeAnna is in for an easy ride with these two. Dad and DeAnna have a little chat in which they learn that they are both brutally honest people. Jesse asks his Dad what he thinks of DeAnna, to which he replies that he finds her very down to earth. Jesse says “yeah, she’s a pistol, man.” There are so many references to firearms with these guys. We can’t forget Sean and his apropos-of-nothing “loaded gun” metaphor. Anyway, Dad asks Jesse if when he looks at DeAnna, does she look away, because the eyes are the windows to the soul. Jesse replies that she looks right through him and makes him feel like he does when he is snowboarding. Here is Mom telling DeAnna that she wants Jesse to be happy. She tells DeAnna that she and Jesse’s dad spent 12 years without a child, and once they gave up along came Jesse, whose name means a gift from God.

Mom and Dad share their feelings about DeAnna with Jesse. Mom says DeAnna is beautiful in and out. Dad says he senses her honesty and integrity, and advises Jesse to take it seriously. Jesse confesses that he thinks he would be alright in a serious dating situation, “but I’m not ready to get married in two weeks.” Dad says “don’t be afraid of it” and advises him to open up. Jesse camera comments “My dad is one heck of a dude,” and notes that he gave him the same advice as did DeAnna - to open up. DeAnna asks Dad if Jesse is ready to be married; Dad replies that he thinks Jesse is ready but that he’s afraid. “My true feeling is that he is afraid because of past experiences.” Okay, these we want to hear about. At goodbye time, Dad tears up talking to DeAnna about Jesse. DeAnna feels truly blessed to have met Jesse, and feels completely wonderful about the interaction with Jesse’s parents. Jesse takes DeAnna on a horse and carriage ride, during which he presumably opens up to her as promised but we see only a few seconds of it. Jesse camera comments that he plans to “kick it up about ten notches and those dudes ain’t going to know what hit them.”

Here we are in Dallas for Jeremy’s hometowner. DeAnna hopes that Jeremy is more relaxed today. He comes “flying in on a motorcycle, looking sexy.” DeAnna thinks it is hot that Jeremy rides a motorcycle. DeAnna loves her boys on their toys. The couple takes a tour through the Big D, finally arriving at Jeremy’s place. DeAnna comments “perfect house, perfect man.” “Perfect” is beginning to pick up an unmistakably negative connotation. We meet Jeremy’s dog Kimo and see his ultra-organized closet. He still has several large posters of bar exam notes on the wall. As Jeremy and DeAnna take in the lovely view of downtown Dallas from his top floor, he tells her that he would like a house but that he doesn’t want to make that decision alone. DeAnna notes that he opens up to here more and more every time they are together. Jeremy then brings out the family photo album, which should have come with a large box of tissues. The pictures of his deceased parents bring tears to DeAnna’s and Jeremy’s eyes. Jeremy tells DeAnna that she reminds him a lot of his mother in the way she always speaks her mind. He tells DeAnna that his mother made him promise, presumably on her deathbed, that he would find someone that she would be proud to call her daughter-in-law. Just when you think things couldn’t get more heartrending, Jeremy pulls out a diary he kept of his mother’s last days and narrates from it. DeAnna thanks him for sharing it with her. She camera comments that she felt very touched, and that the words in Jeremy’s journal reflected her feelings regarding her own mother’s passing. I miss Sean and his superficiality more than words could express right now. Anyway, Jeremy feels very vulnerable and exposed; he feels that DeAnna is destroying the brick wall he has put up. He doesn’t just want her in his life, he needs her in his life and is “definitely falling in love.”

Knock, knock. Thank goodness, it’s Jeremy’s two brothers and his sister-in-law. Can we put away the tragic mementos now, please? DeAnna camera comments that the promise Jeremy made his dying mother, that he would find someone who would make her proud, is a lot to live up to, so now she is extra nervous about meeting his family. Sister-in-law Meredith seems nice and upbeat. Her first impression is that “DeAnna is very welcoming and genuinely glad to get to know us.” Alas, this welcome cheer is all too brief. Meredith goes on to say that the fact that she lost her father when she was 21 is a huge bond between her husband Jason and herself. She feels that this will form a similarly pleasant bond between DeAnna and Jeremy. Okay, this is beginning to sound like dialogue from a retirement home - “well, you know, Fred, Agatha is a recent widow. Why don’t you go over and tell her all about when you lost Gladys? It’ll really break the ice!”

DeAnna at least makes an attempt to act like someone in her twenties when she asks Meredith for some dirt on Jeremy, “because he’s just way too perfect.” Meredith dishes it up but good - “he is an amazing guy, sweet, sensitive and thoughtful.” Meredith continues that she doesn’t know many people to whom Jeremy has opened up, and she is impressed. These are perhaps the most depressing and the most boring people on earth. One of the brothers - doesn’t even matter which one - lightens the mood by bringing up the “other guys.” He feels he must be “cautious with Jeremy’s feelings” and “will question every step that Jeremy takes.” Jeremy, the 30 year old attorney. Then the brothers sink their teeth into DeAnna. They very rudely bluntly inform her that “We’re on one side here. We’re not on your side, we’re on Jeremy’s side.” The person Jeremy chooses “has to get along with all of us….you’re not just committing to Jeremy, you’re committing to all of us, too.” I’m completely in favor of committing all of them. DeAnna politely assures the bros that she is sincere, and finally the loathsome trio leave and it’s just Jeremy and DeAnna and the fireplace. Jeremy tells DeAnna that he doesn’t just want her, but that he needs her, to which she replies “wow” and he says “that’s kind of heavy.” Heavy - the perfect summation for this entire hometown visit.

Happily away from Dallas, we next travel to Jason’s hometown of Seattle. He literally jumps up and down when he sees DeAnna walking up to him. They meet under the Space Needle and get the VIP tour to the top. DeAnna is “really hoping there will be something there” with Jason. She was “happy to be in his arms” but is nervous to meet his son; she has never dated anyone with a child before. Jason informs her that Ty is in his “pirate stage” so it ought to be a lot of fun. Who doesn’t love pirates, after all? DeAnna asks Jason how many more kids he wants, and it seems he has always thought three would be a good number and so does DeAnna. DeAnna further explains that she would like to have all three of these kids before she is 30, and notes that she is now 26. Thank goodness for TiVo, because I, like moms everywhere, am laughing too hard to hear what is said next. I’m also thinking that if this timeline is really important to DeAnna, she had better choose Jason so she has the head start.

Now it’s time to meet Ty, who is inexplicably roaming around a large park all by himself. Apparently this is the first time Jason and Ty have seen each other since the show began and it is an emotional reunion. DeAnna gets all teary, camera commenting that this is “the most perfect moment she has ever seen in her entire life - like something out of a movie.” As they feed bread to a pondful of ducks, DeAnna voices over that she loves that Jason loves kids and that she doesn’t have to worry if he would be a good father. Jason tells Ty what he was doing in California. Why, I can’t fathom. DeAnna notes that “the experience with Jason and his son has made me a different person.” She felt that they were “comfortable, that we were a family spending the day at the park.” She feels like she could step into the role of stepmother.

As the trio heads off to meet the rest of Jason’s family, he voice overs that he has introduced only a high school girlfriend and his ex-wife to his family thus far. DeAnna meets Jason’s mom, dad, two brothers and sister-in-law. They are a very congenial group and it is a welcome relief from the somber gathering of Dementors in Dallas. DeAnna notes that Jason’s family really went out of their way to make her feel welcome, even making a meal entirely of Greek food. DeAnna presents Ty with a gift. It’s a certificate proclaiming that she has had a star named after him. Being three, he doesn’t entirely grasp the concept but gives her a sweet thank you anyway. There is much mutual admiration in camera comments; everyone loves DeAnna, DeAnna loves everyone. They dance the opa (?) and play leap frog in the backyard. Dad asks DeAnna how does it feel that Jason has Ty. DeAnna replies that she is okay being a second part of his life behind his real mother. Ty cries when Jason tells him goodbye. This breaks DeAnna’s heart and reminds her how much Jason has sacrificed to come on the show. Jason says he is falling in love.

Now it’s off to Raleigh for Graham’s hometown date. DeAnna looks extremely excited to see Graham. She voice overs that she feels Graham is having a hard time with the other guys but today is the time for him to show his emotions. They meet at Graham’s high school because basketball is such an important part of his life. Graham is very affectionate and DeAnna is clearly ecstatic about the change in his behavior toward her. DeAnna says he was so cute, she could not take her hands off him. Graham does his best to ruin the moment, replying “I’ll bet you say that to all the guys,” but DeAnna is too giddy with his mere presence to notice. Graham has had jerseys made, and DeAnna notes that her jersey “already has your last name on it.” Graham says something about it being subliminal, clearly demonstrating his lack of understanding of the word’s meaning. They play basketball, and DeAnna notes that Graham seemed much happier to be in his own element, and that she saw another side of Graham that she “absolutely loved.” She camera comments that she “feels something for Graham that she doesn’t feel for the other three guys.” Graham the pro-basketball player tries an “impossible” mid-court shot for the promise of a kiss, misses, but gets his reward anyway, which is just how Graham likes it. He tells DeAnna that “meeting my family will tell you a lot.” Graham notes that it is a lot easier when he “doesn’t have to live with the other guys you date.”

DeAnna camera comments yet again how happy she is that Graham is opening up. Graham voice overs that it has been several years since he brought a girl home. He probably tried a time or two, but couldn’t stop himself from breaking up with them on the drive over. DeAnna meets Mom and Dad and there is much hugging. Mom asks DeAnna if it has been better to be one of 25 women vying for the same man, or in her current position. Gee, let’s think on this. Dad asks if she can be friends with Graham, because that’s the most important part. A little ‘playful’ bickering between Mom and Dad ensues, and we’re seeing just how close the apple landed. They look at Graham’s trophy wall - still intact lo these many years - and chit chat. Privately, Mom tells DeAnna that Graham is “a very good guy.” DeAnna asks Mom if Graham is read for a relationship and marriage. Mom replies that Graham “has not had a lot of serious girlfriends. Finding someone who lasts more than four weeks is difficult for Graham; he doesn’t let people in so he is a little bit of a loner.” DeAnna says that she feels like she is falling for Graham more than he is falling for her, and she doesn’t want to get hurt in the end. She comments that talking to Graham’s mom made her feel “a little upset,” as well it should.

Graham and DeAnna sit on a bench outdoors. DeAnna tells him she loves his family. “It’s nice to learn why you’re you.” Graham is silent, so DeAnna asks him what’s on his mind. “Everything” is his enigmatic reply, then a surly “What?” DeAnna: “Are you okay?” Graham: “Yeah.” And you just know this scene would repeat itself for the rest of their relationship, which would probably last about, let’s say, four weeks. DeAnna presses the matter, telling Graham that the two of them handle things differently. Graham agrees, saying “this is how I am.” DeAnna lies says she is “fine with not having to say anything” when she is with Graham, to which he inexplicably replies, “well, good luck.” They say goodbye and hug, and DeAnna camera comments that “Graham completely shut me out on the bench, but I still feel more for him every time. It’s hard having feelings for someone and having to leave like that.” She says she is “disappointed” and “doesn’t know if she can spend the rest of her life begging Graham to fall in love with her.” And you would want to do that because….? Hopefully she will come to her senses, sooner rather than later. This is more painful to watch than Jeremy’s morbid montage.

Here we are back at the California mansion with three roses on the silver tray. DeAnna camera comments that “this is a completely impossible choice,” and that she is scared she “will make the wrong choice.” She goes on to say that of the four guys, her relationship with Jesse has progressed the most normally, that they were friends first and that all the “romantic stuff” is now “falling into place.” She loves the way Jesse makes her feel. In contrast, Jeremy has “been perfect from day one. If I were to choose Jeremy in the end, everything would be perfect, I’d have this perfect house, this perfect dog, this perfect life; but in the end even if everything looks good on paper, I have to feel it in my heart and gut and I have to be in love.” As far as Jason goes, DeAnna “never thought I would fall in love with someone with a child but that is what is happening.” She wonders if she would have room in Jason’s heart with Ty already there. With Graham, “it’s different. I just completely feel comfortable being around him. When you struggle with someone it makes you stronger as a couple.” DeAnna is clearly having trouble distinguishing the terms ‘with’ and ‘against.’ She does “feel that Graham has strong feelings for me. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to express them.”

No more talk, it’s time to whack someone. “Jesse, will you accept this rose?” Yep, sure will!” Jeremy the Perfect?” “Yep, sure will!” It’s looking bad for Jason. “Jason, will you?” “Yep, I will!” Whoa! Good job, D! She walks Graham out to a bench for their final smack down. Graham snipes “you did what you thought you needed to do.” Still mining for some showing of emotion, DeAnna tells him this is “goodbye forever.” Nothing. She goes on to say “I made it perfectly clear what it was like for me here the first time here with Brad. Obviously I felt like I had opened up with someone who felt the same, but I was led on.” She tells Graham that she felt like he never let his guard down, and that she was being led on by him. Making us cheer her decision even more, Graham replies “and you are very entitled to your opinion. And you are more than welcome to make it easy on yourself by thinking that, but….” At this point DeAnna has had quite enough of his sneering, and breaks in “this is not easy on me, Graham, you have no idea how hard this has been for me these past few days, how hard it was for me to call out those three names and you standing there, swaying back and forth and smiling. I cannot be with someone who can’t open up to me, that can’t deal with problems, who can’t talk about things.” To which Graham replies “Well good, fine, obviously you don’t see in me what you need to continue on, so your decision is easy now.” What a twit. DeAnna, shaking now with emotion, replies “you don’t get why it’s not, cause I have genuine feelings for you. All I wanted was for you to be that person in the end, to open up, to be that person standing with me in the end but you couldn’t do that. I am saying goodbye to the one person that I thought I was falling in love with. That’s how hard this is for me. The one person I let my guard down and was falling for was not doing the same to me; and I can’t take the chance that in the end I would be standing there, and you wouldn’t choose me in return.” Graham says “Oh man” and looks away. Literally turns his whole body away. DeAnna says “when you leave it ends here.” No reaction. “I have to walk you to the car.” “Mmhmm.” Graham then produces a letter “cause I knew there would be some things that I couldn’t say to you.” He tells her to read it or not, but “It’s for you alone, not for any show, not for any person but you. It would mean a lot if you read that one day.” What a tool. Okay, if you can’t man up and express your feelings face to face, then by all means put it in a letter. But give it to her before the rose ceremony, or keep it to yourself. This way is just cruel.

Graham limo comments - nothing. Big surprise. DeAnna comments that it was extremely hard to let Graham go, but she is “tired of dating people who don’t know what they want.” As she sits on the bench reading Graham’s letter, DeAnna says that she is “scared I am second guessing my decision. First and foremost I want to be in love, and what if that doesn’t happen now?”

Was this episode a bummer or what?

Scenes from next week’s “exotic” dates on Grand Bahama promise cheerier times. Lots of sunshine and jet-skiing. Chris Harrison tells us that Jeremy “lays his heart on the line.” Jason “confesses all.” Jesse doesn’t know if he can stay in the fantasy suite “until I meet your dad.” Priceless. Chris then salaciously intones, “What did Graham write in his goodbye letter?” You know, the one that was “not for any TV show.” We’re left with some heartwarming footage of DeAnna, Jason, Ty and the pond ducks; which, sadly, was perhaps the highlight of this week’s show.