Sarah Walker

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Five hundred songs.  Four hundred and ninety-two more than they even needed.  And this is what they come up with?  The most talented and most uninspiring contestants in American Idol history did it again.

Okay, let’s take it from the top and work our way down.  Way down.

David Cook seemingly had a great advantage this week.  He’s a rocker, the songs were from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Top 500 - a perfect fit, no?  Yes.  And that’s exactly what put DC at a disadvantage.  Every week when it looked like the theme was going to spell trouble for him, David managed to pull off yet another astonishing change up, whether he was breathing new life into Dolly’s sparrow or dragging a Neil Diamond song half a century forward in time.   Changing up an iconic song is a different matter altogether - no easy task for most songs and downright impossible for others. 

David’s first number, Duran Duran’s Hungry Like the Wolf was nothing more than a nice cover, although his voice worked well as a Simon Le Bon soundalike.  David himself admitted during his between songs Seacrest chat that he could have done more with it.  With his second performance David stepped back into his zone with a nice take on The Who’s Baba O’Reilly - definitely not just a cover, but not so far from the original to enrage any hardcore Who fans.  Last night it seemed short, but watching it back it did go the full (ridiculously short) allowable 90 seconds.  Guess it was just that good. 

David should undoubtedly be safe this week.  However, this is the week in AI history that saw the untimely end of Tamyra Gray, LaToya London and Chris Daughtry.  It’s unlikely, but voter complacency may once again rear its dangerous head and see DC packing up his AC guitar and heading home.  I hope not, because not only is he the most talented and most (only) entertaining contestant left, but it will be really interesting to see which songs the judges choose for David next week should he stick around.  Also, next week is Home Town Visits!  I for one am dying to get a look at Blue Springs, Missouri.

David Archuleta.  I know.  People love him.  I get it, he has a great voice, nice kid, prodigy, humble, yadda yadda yadda.  The Golden Arch.  To continue the metaphor, it’s nice to visit the other Golden Arches now and then.  The Big Mac is a delicious sandwich - it’s got everythinig you want in  a burger, all neatly stacked and tasty.  But really, how many Big Mac’s can you eat, over and over, without getting sick of them, despite their burger perfection?   Don’t you quiero some Taco Bell?  Don’t you crave something a little spicier?  Something hotter?  

David’s first perf, Stand By Me, had everything you want in a song, all neatly stacked and even somewhat tasty.  But listening to it I couldn’t help but feel like I was on hold with the cable company or riding up to the 21st floor.  And the seagull outfit with the v-neck?  Okay, raise your hands - who’s ever seen that exact outfit on a 65 year old woman stepping out of a tour bus?  Yeah, just like I thought - that’s a lot of hands.  But a least his first song was age appropriate and a perfect personality fit for David; although the whole thing about him singing it to himself in his room was a little TMI for me - but I’m not fifteen.

Which brings us to Little David’s second perf, which was not a perfect fit by any means.  That song was so oversized it was falling off him.  David - No.  More.  Elvis.  Ever!  This one was way high on the ick factor for me.  Elvis - the hunka hunka burning love himself - singing Love Me Tender = tres sexy.  Giggly 17 year old singing Love Me Tender = EEEEW!  Enough said.

Syesha, Syesha, Syesha.  Only you could open the back door enough last night to provide Jason a glimmer of hope for sticking around another week.  Do you never learn?  When I read you were doing Proud Mary I thought oh, no, no, no.  She’s putting herself in danger of being compared to an icon once again.  Can she possibly distance herself enough from Tina’s version to avoid the pitfall?  And then you come out in - Tina’s dress!!  And you can’t even rock it like Tina and she’s 68 years old!  Then you proceed to do a bad cover with no originality whatsoever.  Simon was absolutely right on this one.  And shakin’ it with Ricky Minor ain’t gonna save you every time.

The bad news for Syesha was that her first perf, bad as it was, trumped her second by a mile.  Her take on Sam Cooke’s A Change is Gonna Come was excruciatingly tedious.  But the worst part of Syesha’s AI appearance last night had nothing to do with her singing.  In her intro bit, Syesha actually told all of America that this song - which was written about the Civil Rights Movement - had taken on new meaning for her.  That’s right.  No longer does it reflect one of the major turning points in American history and a pivotal time for African Americans.  No, now it’s all about Syesha at the “pivotal time in my life…..the song just took on a totally different meaning for me.”  In other words, “it’s all about me.”  Now, Syesha has been nothing if not full of herself the entire season, and for me her comments encapsulated everything that makes this girl so difficult to like.  It’s hard to judge how much of a bad taste this will leave in the mouths of voters but for Syesha:  Mediocre Tina impression + Boring Second Song + Insufferable Arrogance may add up to another week for Jason.

Oh, Jason.  What can we say about last night?  Well, at least he had fun with “The Bob’s,”  but yeah, it was pretty awful.  A cheap imitation of I Shot the Sheriff with so much bouncing around I was totally distracted by the thought that one or more of the dreads would go flying.  And the Dylan song - what he remembered of it - was perhaps even worse.  But at least Jason showed up this week and at least he tried to bring it.  Ever since Over the Rainbow Jason has seemed somewhat annoyed to be called away from wherever he was chillin’ to have to come perform on the Idol stage.  But this week he came out and had fun, just like Michael Johns did with Dream On, and Carly with JC SS, and Brooke with I’m a Believer.  Uh oh Jason, you’re done.

So as the Idol Express screams its way toward the seemingly inevitable David-David finale, who will it be tonight?  Jason looks ready to go and Syesha needs to go.  Neither should win, so either is fine.  As long as David C. lives to surprise us another week, it’s all rock ‘n’ roll to me.